This will be my year. How very Bridget Jones of me.
Forgive me for my optimism but actually I think I’ve earned it. This year my health plummeted, I hit an all time low. Four months ago I couldn’t even formulate a sentence when my friend came round for a cuppa tea, my Lupus and Fibromyalgia decided to set up camp in my head and the burn from their sing song round the camp fire, was more than I could bear. I was signed off work for two months and I have to admit, I think I lost myself a bit.
Thankfully though, four months on, I have retuned to Physiotherapy and I’m planning our 2018 wedding. Yes, the Christmas hustle and bustle has kind of overtaken any recent planning, but the point is, four months ago I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to book a honeymoon, let alone attend my own wedding!
This year has seen some incredible highs, as well as dramatic lows. So as I write my last page of 2017, I thought I would share some of those moments with you as I take a big leap into 2018 and firmly close that 2017 door…
10th of February – Following my mum getting the all clear from Cancer we decided it was time to focus on the future and add a new addition to the family! With a visit to the RSCPA we came back with a stray street dog, all the way from Portugal! What the RSPCA failed to tell us, was what her breed was and so we landed ourselves with a …’Podenco!’ If anyone knows what they are, you will surely be laughing at us, because these are NOT a domesticated breed or lap dog of any kind. It wouldn’t be abnormal to find them sitting on the dining room table, thinking they are the Alpha whilst us humans are their pack! Cady’s presence has brought a lot of laughter to my dark days and I couldn’t imagine my life without her now.
28th of February – I was finally diagnosed with severe Lupus at the London Lupus Clinic. After being told my by old appalling GP surgery (for four years) that I was making up an illness in my head! I remember crying when my Professor broke the news to me, because it was a relief to hear that I wasn’t going insane and someone could put a ‘name to an ugly face!’
27th of June – My birthday! We went to London for my follow up appointment (what a way to celebrate!!) My Professor told me the medication I was on was not controlling my Lupus and so he started me on hard core drugs. From then on it felt like I developed any illness known to mankind that I came into close contact with. My immunosuppressant drugs were hitting me full pelt. Thank god the Black Plague wasn’t going round, otherwise I wouldn’t be here to tell the tale…
15th of August – My health took a turn for the worst. My Professor told me that I had severe Fibromyalgia as well as Lupus (which is typically found in 20% of Lupus patients). I remember thinking, this can’t get any worse. During my two months off work they tested me for Neurolupus and Multiple Sclerosis via a PET Scan. They determined that I was in a massive flare up and predicted that the next 6 months would be hard for me.
27th of October – We handed in our notice of marriage! I gave Dave the last chance to escape a lifetime of marriage with me and thankfully, despite all the cr*p he has put up with this year, he still wanted to go ahead with making me his wife. Making me the happiest girl alive. Dave has been my rock through the most draining and challenging year of my life and I don’t think I would have made it to the end of 2017 without him.
5 things I’ve learnt this year…
- How to say NO for my bodies sake and to stop pushing myself too far
- Who I can rely on to be there for me when I need them most
- How much planning, time and work goes into writing a book!
- How much I love my colleagues. They are amazing and I wouldn’t swap for the world
- You cannot control or predict the course of your illness. You just have to go with it and hope for the best!
4 things I’m proud of this year…
- For never giving up
- Losing half a stone (despite steroid weight challenges)
- My blog! – I can’t believe over 7,200 people have viewed my page!
- My partner Dave – I don’t care how mushy this sounds, he is my WORLD. Day in day out of 2017, whatever has come our way, it’s him who has got me through it all, grounded me and willed me to carry on. I can’t wait to be your wife. Thank you for being you.
5 goals of 2018…
- Attempt to finish a first draft of my book or finish a significant portion
- Go to the gym regularly, to get fitter and stronger, for both my health and my wedding!
- To grow, to be kinder and wiser
- To stop stressing or worrying about the little things – it’s only a wedding seating plan it’s not life or death!!
- To live – to stop fearing my condition and not let it hold me back
This year has truly given me a lot to reflect on. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster and to be quite honest, I’m glad we’re arriving at the new destination of 2018! I will start and end the year with a different surname, how crazy is that!!! I have SO much to look forward to in 2018 and that makes me very excited! Thank you to everyone who has made my 2017. To old and new friends!
I hope you all have a very Happy and Healthy New Year! Now hurry up and put on your party shoes …before the booze sells out in Tesco! Have a magical night! xxxxxxx